Creating a Life Together
by somethingimliving
Summary: Snippets of Caroline and Kate, in domestic bliss, or not so domestic bliss and the challenges that they face, together.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:  
Hi! I have been reading lots of LTiH fanfiction for the past year and I cannot get enough of it! It's great that series 3 is finally here but what that also means is less LTiH fanfiction because we're all re-watching each and every Caroline and Kate scene to death (and haven't we been lucky this series!?). Anyway, I've been wanting to have a go for a while but been too scared (seriously, lots of your stories really are fantastic!) but I've finally just gone for it. I've never written any fanfiction ever before so this is a first for me and it's actually been quite fun. I don't know where this is going to go but we shall see. Leave a review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Brava to Sally Wainright. I'm just playing with them.**

**All of Me**

It was the Dr. inside of her.

_"Why on earth do you need to go and do this bloody P.D.H rubbish whatever it is? _You've_ just spent four years at the place!"_

_"Unfortunately, four years at Oxford didn't cover everything I wanted addressing. I have questions that I'd like answered and this is the best way to go about it."_

_"Well, why do you need to go and be a Doctor?! Oh, Caroline. What are people going to think? Isn't it time you came home and did something? All this studying and I have no idea what it's going to do for you. You do know it's because I care for you, love. That's my only worry."_

_"Look, Mum, I don't expect you to understand why I'm doing it but it's done. I've sent my thesis off. So there's no point in going on about it any more. And anyway, I'm still going to be doing something. I'm tutoring a few A-Level students. Let's just enjoy the rest of the summer. "_

_"Right. Are you growing your hair back then?"_

_"I don't know, probably."_

_"Anyway, what's all of this nonsense on TV then? What? You hear that? That bloke, there, right… took on a child that wasn't his and pretended all that while. You know… I'll never understand how they can go on like they'll love them like their own. It's a load of rubbish. I could never love anyone like I love you, my own flesh and blood. You're the thing that's kept me going all these years."_

* * *

"Caroline, it's ridiculous how much we're wasting on running that car! It eats up diesel like no tomorrow! My car is going to be fine for Flora and I. Thank you. It's you who needs to consider downgrading, never mind getting something bigger."

Hormones were everywhere right now and Caroline wasn't one to back down from confrontation but for Kate, she could let this slide.

"I know, Kate, I know but you needn't worry. It's not like I, we, can't afford it and I don't want you traipsing round cooped up in a car too small." Babies travel big. She'd thought better of that remark though.

"But that isn't the point!? We don't need a car that big. I wish you'd understand sometimes, Caroline!"

* * *

She'd only considered getting a bigger model for Kate to use. She had no idea how they'd ended up shopping for a smaller car for her. Caroline's car was perfect, but if it kept Kate happy, it was worth it. Of course she'd been greeted by a largely pubescent team working on commission who only wanted her to upgrade. The boy couldn't have been older than 18 years old himself, had insisted that the new Jeep Renegade was what Caroline needed. He'd bombarded her with details of the Renegades superior approach angle, break over angle and departure angle. What he hadn't prepared for was Caroline's pitch for her treasured Cherokee.

''That's all very well but I know my Jeep Cherokee has much more hip and shoulder room for me. Much more legroom for my passengers and with a growing family that's what I need. So, thank you for your advice but we've made our decision. Are you ready to leave, Kate?"

Caroline had already started heading towards the exit leaving a dumbfounded Kate stood still with an apologetic,

"Maybe next time!"

By the time Kate had reached the car park, Caroline was already in the car.

"In her Jeep. Her Jeep Cherokee. In her beloved Jeep Cherokee." Kate thought.

Caroline could see Kate from the far corner of the car park, you couldn't miss her. She made her way round to open the passenger door giving her ample time to appreciate its beautiful interior.

"Cold, isn't it? We should have brought your coat. Don't want you getting cold." Still admiring that lovely leather seating.

A hardly audible "Mm. Thank you." was all Kate could manage as she took the car door into her own hands, slamming it shut.

Caroline stood and was seconds away from screaming "That's my car!" but took a deep breath and smiled as she made her way back round.

It was a silent first few miles.

"The nursery looks nice, doesn't it? I was thinking the other day, I'm so glad we went with your choice of Melba Matte. It won't be long until it's all finished. Soon as the furniture arrives… Few surprises in there too that I've ordered but you'll see when they're here. It's going to be perfect for her. I'm having so much more fun with this than I did the boys, it's odd. It felt like a task but I guess that had a lot to do with Joh-''

"You can turn the ridiculous heated seating off, I don't need it and it's not making a blind bit of difference. I'm glad you're in such high spirits after were you unbelievably rude in there. You didn't even look properly at the smaller models! It was either too small, not right, don't like the colour or no bloody rear back up camera!"

"OK, Kate-"Caroline tried explaining but Kate wasn't to be interrupted.

"Then you announce _we've_ made _our_ decision! That's your problem, Caroline. You make all of these decisions without consulting me, even when I'm there. It's not about you, it's about our child! And if you can't see that, well, I don't know why we're bothering!"

It was something that Caroline couldn't get used to and probably wouldn't ever get used to. It went against everything she'd ever known, clung on to for the past 26 years and she wasn't sure whether she was willing to adjust, not for herself, not for Kate. That was the thing with Caroline. She had to scrutinize, investigate, analyse, and study everything before making any decision. And she wasn't going to share this or deliberate with anyone else.

Ever since she was a child she'd kept her toys to herself, her homework queries to herself, and her feelings to herself.

_''Don't want folk thinking you're gloating, dear!"_

_''For god's sake don't tell your father!''_

_''You mad old dyke!''_

Yes. Her previous track record of sharing things with others (with the exception of Kate) had simply made her vulnerable. Exposed.

She had often thought it had been part of her design, part of her mother's plan to make sure she was never as vulnerable as her.

She just couldn't get her head round it. One thing that science couldn't explain. That urge to give herself so freely to anyone or anything.

She'd had it with William and Lawrence, of course she had. They were her children. Her own flesh and blood. She'd do anything for them. That's why she hadn't been keen when Kate had started talking about babies. Yes, it was because it could put Kate in danger, it was because she didn't want to see Kate get hurt, it was because she was 46 for goodness sake and it was because she didn't think she wanted children now… but what if she couldn't love it like her own? She'd been a good Mum, yes, she'd made a few mistakes, but could she do the same with a child that wasn't hers? Caroline knew she could be selfish and hopeless and maybe this was just too much. So, that was the decision Caroline made when Kate left her at the hotel all those months ago. She was inept and that was her conclusion.

Until Kate had told her she was pregnant.

There it had been.

The maternal urge. The realisation that she wasn't going to raise a life growing inside someone she loved so dearly. That protective instinct that had drove her all the way to the hospital. That Kate was going to birth a beautiful baby alone. That they'd both be alone that Christmas. That Caroline wasn't going to have anything to do with a child that she loved as her own.

And so that sensation, that urge returned. But Caroline couldn't put that into words, couldn't share that. So she drove on, because that what she thought best. That was her decision.

* * *

They had hardly spoken a word all night, only necessities in front of Lawrence.

Kate was already in bed, glasses on, engrossed in baby birthing book number five of her third trimester.

'I've brought you some water. I'll just put it here.'

She dried up again. Caroline stood looking from alarm clock to water hoping that with time they'd miraculously give her the courage to say what she needed to say.

"OK, I'm going to sleep so please don't stay up on your iPad too long."

All of a sudden, Caroline felt the cold.

''I just, I…" Caroline looked away.

Kate had already seen her well up. Caroline didn't cry. The only time Kate had saw Caroline cry was before the wedding and when she'd arrived at Caroline's with Celia.

Kate raised her eyebrows. She wasn't going to be fooled, not if this was about the Jeep.

"What's the matter?"

She'd hardly touched Kate all night, and recently her touch was the only thing that steadied her, calmed her. She took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed next to Kate. Tentatively, she placed her hand on Kate's tummy.

"I just want what's best for the baby."

Kate didn't take her gaze off Caroline's hand.

"I'm sorry if I blind sided you with all the stuff about the cars. I just panicked and you know how I am with my car. So I'm sorry, really Kate. I am sorry."

Then it appeared. That same honesty she'd received on Christmas Eve.

Silence. Caroline didn't know whether this was good or bad.

"Well, maybe Debussy preludes and Prince do sound much better on the Alpine Premium sound system." Kate smiled placing her hand over Caroline's.

"No. I'm sorry too. I over reacted." Kate looked up with a delicious smirk, stroking Caroline's cheek with her other hand.

Caroline took Kate in her arms, lightly kissing the back of her neck.

"So, we get to keep the Jeep?'' Caroline whispered, smiling gently into Kate's ear.

"You get to have whatever you want tonight." Kate answered with a mischievous grin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE AVOIDING SPOILERS FOR SERIES 3, EPISODE 3/4.  
I have written this based on the knowledge I have of upcoming story lines. **

**Lean on Me**

Caroline sat cradling Flora in the nursery admiring the Melba Matte coloured room that Kate had so carefully chosen. That was the thing with Kate, on the surface Kate was often mistaken for being passive but nothing could be further from the truth.

* * *

"_Kate, rather than agonising over this why don't we go with cream or vanilla? There are so many other things we should be focussing on. As long as she's healthy and happy, I don't think the colour of her room matters too much for now, does it?"_

"_No, no, Caroline. It does." Certain. _

"_Ok, well, why don't we stick with cream for now and then when she's older she'll be able to tell us more specifically what she wants and then it won't be too much hassle will it? I, just, I can tell you're getting worked up over it and we've been shopping for two hours now and still have no paint for a room that needs to be finished soon, really soon." Sooner than Caroline would like to admit. _

"_No, I know, I know. I just want it to be perfect, Caroline. She's going to be spending the first few years of her life in there and I… I just want it to be right." Kate couldn't look at Caroline any more so she looked at the paint chart as if it were about to disappear. _

"_What's the matter?"_

"_I thought I wanted… Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I wanted peach but I just don't like any of them."_

"_Right, OK, well, why don't we have a look through yellow again? You mentioned that before didn't you? And that Summer Yellow Satin was nice, not too bright. I quite liked that."_

"_Yes, yes, it was but… but, I really wanted peach."_

_Caroline was beginning to wonder if she was being blasé about this, she hadn't really cared too much for the colour of William or Lawrence's room. Nevertheless, she was starting to become impatient. They had spent the last forty minutes looking at the same colour chart with no resolve._

"_Why?" in as relaxed a tone Caroline could manage._

"_Because, because…" Kate searched hopelessly for the explanation that Caroline wasn't even sure she had but was too frightened to place the blame on hormones. "It's going to sound daft." Kate replied meekly._

_Caroline moved closer to Kate and gently rubbed her back, encouraging her. "No. No it's not. What is it?"_

"_I did some research and the colour peach is meant to bring courage and charm and yeah, yeah, I thought, I thought that would be perfect but there's nothing here that I like so maybe we'll just go with the Summer Yellow."_

"_No, no we're not doing that. If you want peach and that's what it means, we'll get peach. It doesn't have to be here Kate, there are plenty of other places we can look and there's on-line too."_

* * *

It had taken ten paint testers all the way from America to decide but four tubs of paint later and that was it. The room for their baby girl was to be coloured Melba Matte. And it was perfect.

Caroline had to pinch herself. She couldn't quite believe she had become a Mum again. After Lawrence that was it. That was all she'd ever planned for. She had never imagined this was the path her life would take at forty six, especially as a forty six year old re-discovering herself after twenty six years of hiding. For the first time in forever, with Kate, she'd put her own happiness first and she wasn't sure whether she was willing to sacrifice that for sleepless nights or tantrums. Or so she had thought.

And then Flora arrived. Flora was only three weeks old and Caroline was still fascinated with everything about her. The way her delicate tiny fingers curled round her little finger, her lovely long dark eyelashes, how she'd rub her silky soft skin as close to Caroline as she could whenever she held her and the way she'd stare at Caroline for hours on end through her beautiful brown eyes. That was the amazing thing with new-borns they were seeing almost everything for the first time through brand new eyes. What was going to be her favourite subject, what was going to be her favourite book, sport, colour, song? Everything. In that moment everything else seemed so insignificant. The next eighteen years of an untidy kitchen, evening homework help (rather than enjoying a bottle of Chateau Labegorce Margaux) and manic mornings didn't seem to matter. Caroline adored being a Mum. There were no two ways about it.

"Did she sleep well? She feeling better?" came the most adorable groggy, croaky morning voice she'd ever thought her ears had heard.

"Oh, good morning. How long have you been there for?" Caroline's initial reaction was to get straight up to make sure Kate was well enough to be out of bed, but the second she moved, Flora started to fuss. So she stayed put, bending round to check.

"Don't worry. Not long, feels nice to be out of that room." Kate said placing her hands on Caroline's shoulders.

"I know. Are you sure you're OK?"

"Yes, yes, I needed to get out of there. Two weeks cooped up in one room has been driving me insane. Honestly, I feel much better now."

"As long as you're OK. Oh, yeah, she slept really well. We only had two sets of tears at one and six in the morning cause you were hungry didn't we, Flora? That's OK though, we sorted those out pretty quickly didn't we?" she said into Flora's face in that ridiculous high pitched childlike voice that she had always hated.

"Thank you, Caroline. Really, thank you." Placing a kiss on Caroline's forehead.

"What for? You needn't thank me. I've spent the last twenty one days with her, morning and night but even that hasn't been enough. You're gorgeous aren't you, Flora?"

"No, really. I know I spent the first week or so in hospital but these last two weeks you've been wonderful, truly wonderful. I know I said before I didn't want to do it alone but it wasn't just that, I didn't want to do it with anyone else but you. You're just; you're just… just incredible."

"Motherhood has got you easily pleased hasn't it?"

It frustrated Kate, why could Caroline just not accept the compliment?  
"Yes, if you say so. Do you want to do something today?"

"Now, I know you're out of bed and feeling better but I'm still here for the next two weeks so I don't want you doing anything strenuous, not with what the Doctor said." Head teacher mode in full force.

"Well, I wasn't suggesting bungee jumping Caroline but I just want to do something. Go to the park? I've pretty much missed the first three weeks of her life."

"Kate, that's not true, you've been here. Just in a different way than you would have been before the accident. That's all. And anyway she's only just lost her fever. Thank god it wasn't an infection like the hospital thought."

"I know I just feel as if it's my fault. You know how much I wanted to breastfeed and how much better it is for her. I don't know… maybe she wouldn't have been ill had I been able to do that?"

"Yeah, but Kate you do know that you were on a lot of medication. It would have been more detrimental to her health and to yours had we gone ahead with it. It was the right decision, don't worry. Babies get ill. It's not your fault. And look she's fine."

Almost on cue Flora's legs started kicking in a tiny jagged motion as she let out a huge gurgle.

They both burst into laughter greeted by a wide eyed confused looking Flora.

"Charming, Flora!" giggled Kate.

"See, I told you. You've been fine with your Mum haven't you Flora? Do you want to hold her Kate?"

Kate's faced jumped into a nervous big grin. "Yes, yes, I do."

* * *

They'd had a delightful first morning together. They hadn't really been able to enjoy a morning with Kate recovering and Caroline caring for Kate and Flora at the same time. Now Kate was better, they'd had a marvellous morning. Kate had seen to feeding Flora and Caroline had been put on tea and telephone duties.

"Ah, just got off the phone to Mum and Alan. They're on their way up from Halifax. They've got some things to do and should be here in a few hours. This is going to be their fourth meeting with Flora! They'll probably be here about the same time as Lawrence gets back so I'll get some snacks ready in a moment."

"Yeah." Kate smiled thinly.

"Are you sure you're OK, Kate? You're not too tired are you? Because if you are, you can go upstairs, I'll…"

"Caroline, honestly I'm fine. I'm just a bit… entranced by her. She's amazing, isn't she?"

Caroline smiled. "Well, they are, aren't they? Babies…"

"Yes. Well, you've had a busy morning haven't you, Flora?" Kate turned to go and put Flora in her cot, just fast enough to see Caroline trying to stifle a yawn.

"Are you sure you're OK, Caroline?"

"Yeah, no, honestly." She tried to reassure Kate but couldn't help rubbing her eyes. "I'm just not the youthful, full of vitality twenty eight year old that I once was when I had William. That's all. Not to worry. " Caroline smiled.

Kate looked to the dining table. What was usually so neatly set up for evening meals had been ransacked with school papers, calendars, hospital letters, school diaries, and bills not to mention the tea cups and wine glasses.

"Oh, no Caroline you've been dealing with everything else too, haven't you?" Kate looked apologetically to Caroline.

"Don't panic it's just a few wine glasses and papers. I'll sort it." Caroline promised reaching out to touch Kate's arm.

"Caroline! It's not that. I've just left you on your own to cope with everything, haven't I? I haven't really even asked about you these past two weeks. You don't need to sort it. You don't need to worry. Let's just get her settled and then you deserve a nap. I'll cook tonight too."

* * *

Caroline and Flora had been sleeping soundly for the last hour and Kate had enjoyed a light nap peacefully in Caroline's arms but was awoken by Caroline's phone. She left the room quickly trying to not wake Caroline, a bit disorientated and tried to locate the ringing phone but it was nowhere to be found. Which was odd, Caroline usually had her phone strapped to her checking e-mails or ready to hear the riot act from her mother. Not this time.

"Well, I'm sure if it's that important they'll try and get in touch with me too." Kate muttered as she went about preparing their evening meal and snacks for Celia and Lawrence.

Then came a knock at the door.

"That's odd." Thought Kate. "They said they were going to be a few hours at least." As she tried to quickly wash her hands. She couldn't greet them smelling of garlic.

Then a barrage of knocks, quite violently this time.

"Maybe Celia's just desperate for the loo." Mumbled Kate rushing to the door.

"BANG!" Kate was getting irritated now. Had they forgotten there was a very new born baby inside? Not to mention an exhausted new mother.

Kate put on her best cheesiest, most fake smile and greeted her visitors, not registering who was actually at the door…

"Alan! Ce-. Oh!"

"Caroline?" came the small, pathetic, desperate voice she hadn't had to tolerate for weeks.

"John." Deadpan.


	3. Chapter 3

There was John. In all his glory with a bottle of wine and an Aldi shopping bag.

"Hi, Kate, hi. Yeah, hi. Nice to see you up and about. You look… well. So, erm is Caroline in?"

"Yes."

"Great, great."

"Yes, we've had a busy morning so they're both just…" before she could finish John had already nodded towards the hallway and had made his way past Kate, pushing his shoes off.

"Gosh, 'never felt such bitterness of cold before, that you are half starved, quite frozen, and wish the mild weather back again with all your hearts.' Jane Austen, January, 1801. Glorious woman."

"Yes, erm John, Caroline's asleep right now so I don't know whether you want to give her a call later if it's important."

"Oh right, ok. No worries. I'll just wait for her to… wake up then." as he made his way into the kitchen. "Little Laura well?"

Kate's blood was beginning to boil. "Flora."

She was too stunned to move, her limbs in shock at the audacity of this man to walk into the house they had bought off him and still treat it as if it were his own.

"Ah! That's right! Flora! Flora Lewis, American writer."

Kate didn't think she had heard anyone make so much noise in a kitchen and quickly it all became clear how John offering to cook had so often descended into screaming matches in the old Elliot household. But no, that wasn't going to happen in the Mckenzie – Dawson home.

"John, Flora's sleeping so I'll get Caroline to call you later. You can cook for us another time. Thanks for thinking of us though." Cool, calm and collected. John wasn't getting to Kate. Not now. Not ever.

"Oh, that's strange. I was getting used to this."

Did Kate really just hear that?

"Sorry…wha-. Pardon? What was that John?"

"I've been coming for the past week making lunch for you all whilst Caroline cared for you and Laura, thought it would take the weight off her shoulders."

Kate couldn't even formulate a response to that.

"I mean it's been nothing really, Kate, wouldn't want to see either you struggling especially with little Lau-Flora."

"Well, that's very kind of you." was Kate's curt but calm response from the hallway as she made her way up to the bedroom.

"Would you like some tea, Kate?" shouted from the bottom of the stairway.

"Just keep walking, keep walking Kate." was the chant swirling round in her head.

Kate stormed into the room; she could feel the rage whirling around in her stomach. She stood and waited with her gaze on Caroline. Foot tapping, arms crossed. Almost expecting for her to sit up and be ready with some ridiculous explanation. Yet, she slept on; the bottom of her face covered by their pastel green duvet, with just her adorable little nose and closed eyes on show. She looked tired. She needed that sleep. But Kate couldn't relax, not with what felt like an imposter in their home. The home they'd worked so hard to rid of John Elliot.

"Caroline."

Nothing.

"Caroline. CAROLINE."

She stirred, moving her fringe away from her face and just stared ahead. Kate didn't think she'd ever seen Caroline look this exhausted before but couldn't leave this.

"Caroline?" a bit more gentle now.

"Oh, ah, sorry didn't realise I'd slept so long. Are you OK? Everything OK with Flora?"

Kate could feel the charge bubbling inside of her and couldn't bring herself to move or say anything out of fear she'd either jump on Caroline for being the most delicious thing she'd ever seen. Or burst into a bilious rage for being equally the most infuriating person she had the pleasure of spending the rest of life with.

"Kaaate, look at me. Is everything OK?" she sat up now, her voice full of panic.

"You've got a visitor."

"Oh, have I? Who's that then?" Still in a daze.

"Well, I thought you would have known Caroline considering they've been there for you so much over these last few weeks."

"Well, Mum's not here yet is she? And Will said he was going to wait until the weekend to come down?"

Kate shrugged, trying to act nonchalant about the whole thing.

"Oh, you're having me on aren't you? Is it Will? Has he come down early?" Caroline was beaming at this point.

"Better go down and see for yourself. I couldn't possibly tell you." Kate looked up expressionless.

Caroline had already got out of bed and started making her way towards the door. Kate was acting peculiar. Maybe she was just finding it hard to maintain the story, Kate was a terrible liar. But Caroline just could not read Kate's face this time.

Kate still stood there. Faced away from the door making no effort to join her downstairs.

"Right, you joining me or are you… er… going to be staying up here?"

Kate didn't turn. "I'll stay here for a while. Thanks for asking though, Caroline." with just a hint of sarcasm pushing through.

Caroline waited. Was she missing something here? Hormones. Hormones. That's it. Leave it. Move on.

"Ok, well I'll see you downstairs when you're ready." in as joyful a voice she could manage.

"What's all this noise?" Caroline asked as she made her way downstairs, still trying to fathom what had just happened with Kate.

"Ah! Caroline! Nice to see you up!" greeted John as he thrust a large glass of red wine into Caroline's hand.

"John." Caroline muttered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ladies Who Lunch**

Caroline couldn't even bring herself to welcome John with a pleasant greeting. His arrival meant the departure of their delightful day. She had already started making her way upstairs. She was bracing herself for a very long, difficult conversation with Kate.

"I've bought some Salmon, Caroline." John shouted up. "Read that apparently the Omega-3 oils are meant to be good for new mothers energy and mood. I did think Grilled Salmon with Walnut-Arugula Pesto; I know how you liked that before. But, I thought maybe not considering Kate with her nuts and all that."

Caroline had zoned out at this point and stood outside their bedroom. Stalling the conflict that was about to take place. Caroline knew that Kate hadn't wanted John within a bloody 10 mile radius of their home after they had finally got rid of him. They had agreed the only time he was allowed in the house was for Lawrence or William. Other than that he had no reason, no need to come in and she'd had no idea how'd they'd got into this routine of John coming round midday but Kate was ill, she had a very new born baby and she hadn't known what to do about it. She knew Kate was going to be cross but just maybe, maybe she'd understand and come round. In the next year or so...

"Johns here." more enthusiastic than Caroline had planned. She'd only seen Kate like this once. At the hotel. She hadn't known how to approach her then and she definitely didn't now. So she stuck to what she knew, ignore the situation and be sweet, sickly sweet.

She stood waiting, red wine in hand. Not sure where to put herself. Not sure where exactly to put the red wine as now probably wasn't the most appropriate time to start leisurely sipping from her glass however appealing it seemed with the given situation.

Kate was sat on the end of the bed with a grip so tight on the baby monitor Caroline thought it were about to disintegrate.

"So, I see." Kate snapped.

"OK, Kate what you have to understand is-."

"No, Caroline! What you have to understand is we agreed John wasn't going to be making any more visits to the house unless it was for Lawrence or William. And I know his visits have not been for Lawrence or William because you told me he hasn't seen them for two weeks! Well, maybe that's because he's been too caught up with daytime dates with his ex-wife! My wife to be precise!"

"Oh, come on Kate. You know it isn't like that at all." Caroline answered soothingly, her tone even as possible. She knew it was about to get a whole lot worse.

"What were you even doing letting him in the house?" Kate was exasperated.

"I, just, he just, came and I thought." Caroline couldn't articulate any of her thoughts right now never mind a sentence. She really had blown it, again.

"No, Caroline you didn't think though did you?! You thought you could let him and his absurdness into this house with our new born daughter and you thought I was going to be fine. It's just, you are just absolutely f-f-outrageous. You know that don't you?"

"Yes. I guess I didn't think." a nervous laugh escaping. "Shit, shit shit." Caroline cursed inside her head.

"Well, I'm glad you find it amusing. Well, I would, had I had the pleasure of being wined, dined and waited on every sodding afternoon."

"Please, Kate."

"Please what Caroline?! Well, here's to the Ladies Who Lunch, that's what I say. Sondheim, you were right - it is a bottle of scotch plus a little jest! But not in Caroline's case! Oh nooo, she much prefers to get stuck into a large glass of wine, with her ex-husband in the presence of her wife and new born baby. So, everybody rise for Her Majesty Headmistress Dr Caroline bloody Elliot."

Kate really was on one. No stopping her now.

"That's not true, Kate. And I'm not Elliot; you know that, only at school."

"Well, you coulda fooled me! I mean how did I not know?! How did I not hear him from up here?! But please, don't let me bore you with my theories of your mid-day banquets and your delectable guests."

"It just happened. It really is nothing."

"I put up with it before, John hanging around the house because I thought, well, the baby's not here yet and she doesn't want to impose with Lawrence enjoying John being around but this, THIS, Caroline! After what we had agreed, everything you promised…"

"Kate, you're thinking way too much into this, jumping to conclusions…" Caroline tried to reason.

"Ha, wow! What do you expect me to think when you've been enjoying romantic red wine lunchtime rendezvous with your ex-husband?" Kate slammed the baby monitor down onto the mattress. "And you know what's worse than that? What actually makes me feel a little sick is that he's probably had time with Flora too, while I've been stuck upstairs with the comfort of these four walls! A child that he thought was named Laura! Holding her, caring for her whilst you came upstairs and lied to me!" Kate's voice broke.

Caroline was beginning to feel light headed. She thought it best to put the wine down before she downed it in one or threw it over Kate, but that would probably just ignite the fire in her even more. She looked up at Kate, tried to look into her eyes but couldn't get past the narrowed, rigid, cold form they had taken. The loving spark they had this morning had disappeared and Caroline had to find the strength in her to get past Kate's lethal stare and explain why John was in the house.

Caroline went to sit next to Kate on the bed. "Alright, alright. Let me explain. Please Ka-." But before she could finish she was interrupted by all too familiar music from below them.

"Sorry, Caroline, let me just listen…"

Caroline rolled her eyes and sighed, she looked to the floor in the hope it would eat her up.

"Sorry, sorry let me just get this straight. Sorry, is that the strings opening section of Barwick Green, the theme tune from The Archers playing very, very loudly through our house?" Kate asked in disbelief. Her eyes widened as she faced Caroline. "Wow, he really has made himself at home hasn't he?" Kate quipped through gritted teeth.

Caroline still couldn't look up.

Then almost on cue came a cry from the baby monitor. Flora didn't seem to be enjoying The Archers either and she wanted it make it known.

As Kate leapt up Caroline caught her hand. "Kate, I'm sor-."

But Kate wasn't having any of it. Pulling away "Don't. You have nothing to say." as she stormed out of the room.

"Yes. Salmon, red wine and The Bloody Archers at quarter past twelve. Thanks, John." Caroline confirmed to an empty room.


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: Sorry it has been so long since the last update. After Series 3, Episode 3, I didn't really feel like adding to this for a while. However, today I felt like continuing with it. So, here ya go! Enjoy._**

**They Will Guard Thee At Rest**

They had only been married three weeks and already they'd had their first argument and it was all Caroline's fault. Caroline had spent the last twenty minutes sat on the bed. Frozen. Baby monitor in hand. Trying to work out how to get out of this mess. She still hadn't created a master miracle plan to make it up to Kate and get John out of the house. In fact, as soon as Flora's cries had stopped she'd spent the last ten minutes listening to Kate play Brahms' Lullaby from the baby monitor. The baby grand was another one of Caroline's surprises just a week before Flora was born. Although Kate had complained Caroline was being too extravagant, especially when they had a new born baby on the way, Caroline knew that Kate had been delighted really. She'd listened to Kate play all evening that day. She remembered it well, she'd had thirty staff CPD plans to look over, Heads of Year meeting schedule to plan, and four schemes of work (that Caroline had deemed unsatisfactory) to amend and give back to the relevant departments. A quiet night for Caroline. And yet she'd spent the whole night sat at her desk listening to Kate play Haydn's Sonatas. Before Kate, it was almost impossible to disturb Caroline from her work. Now it was impossible to disturb Caroline from Kate. She was constantly on her mind. It wasn't long before Caroline was brought back to the absolute train crash she had created by a large sigh from the baby monitor and glass smashing in the kitchen. Time to face the music. Time to face the bloody Archers.

* * *

As Caroline made her way downstairs she'd rehearsed in her head exactly what she'd say to manage John and get him out of the house as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, she wasn't exactly prepared for the next turn of events.

"Popsicles! Ha, hey! Long time, no see."

"Ahhhh, Lawrence! I know just been pretty caught up with things. University, novels..."

"Alcohol." Caroline interjected as she turned off The Archers. Eliciting a face of annoyance from Lawrence.

"Yeah, sorry about that son but now I'm here there's plenty of time to make it up. Grilled Salmon? That sound good to you?" and on that Lawrence's face had already lit up. He loved John's cooking much to Caroline's disproval. It was always so clumsily put together, she'd never understood it but boys would eat anything.

Caroline had gone straight into stealth mode. She had to. She had an inclination things were about to get a whole lot worse now Lawrence had come back. She made her way to the dining room.

"Didn't you have plans for tonight Lawrence?" Caroline asked in the hope that if Lawrence was out the house, John wouldn't linger around.

"Nah, Angus has got some gay family meal to go to." Damn, plan B.

"Right. John, I just need to speak to you about something."

"Can't it wait Mum? I haven't seen Dad for ages. It smells like it's nearly done anyway. Oh and it's nice to come back to a normal house for once without that baby's intolerable cries."

"Lawrence, that baby is your sister and she and Kate are still upstairs. Now you need to excuse your Father because I need to speak to him."

"Yeah, but-"

"Stop." Caroline warned, giving him that look.

"No, your mothers right Lawrence. Don't worry, I'll be back."

Caroline shut the study door behind her.

And then came Flora's screams from up above. She was going to have to get this done quickly.

"Yeah, John. I've really appreciated your help over these past few weeks but Kate is up now and I think its best she's not bombarded with company too early. You understand don't you?" Yes, the reasonable approach. She could keep everyone happy that way.

"Yes, of course Caroline. She hasn't been well at all, she can't have everyone coming round, and she needs time. I understand."

Wow. Was she going to get out of this that easily?

"Quite, it's been a crazy few weeks for us all."

"I know, I know." John said putting his hand to Caroline's shoulder. Possibly the least comforting thing he could ever do to his ex wife. Caroline felt a bit sick, she wanted to push his hand off her but she was going to try to be civil. "I'll finish adding the seasoning then." John promised.

"Yeah, yeah and then I can finish off. I know the recipe." Caroline said smiling.

"So, I'll call your Mum and Alan, tell them not to come round. If you want to go up to Kate in the meantime, I'll finish off, serve up and then you can both come down and eat with us. God, losing, you know, losing the baby, with Judith has made me realise how important family is. After all that's happened we have always make a good team, Caroline. I'll crack on!" John said as he made his way to the door.

Nope. Nope, she wasn't going to get out of this that easily.

"No, no. Kate doesn't want any company at all tonight, John."

"Oh, right that's a shame that she doesn't want to come down and eat with us."

"No, John you're not getting it. She doesn't want your company in particular. No, sorry. What am I saying? We don't want your company. We're a family now."

"What about Lawrence?"

"Well, I don't know. Maybe you should have thought of Lawrence these past few weeks instead of downing endless bottles of red wine and hampering us daily."

"Hampering!? I've been cooking for you and making sure YOU were ok!"

"Yes, I know, I am sorry and I have appreciated it. Really, I have. Maybe distance from us will do you good. Allow you to move on."

"NO! I'm not going to let that insipid little lesbian dictate to me when I see my son. I've bought the ingredients, bought wine and started cooking. So I'll finish. Thank you!" John yelled as stormed out the room into the kitchen.

"Oh, no you're not. Not in my house with MY family. In MY kitchen. Also, do you want to stop shouting in my house?! I have a three week old daughter upstairs!" Caroline said between gritted teeth.

"NO! I'll shout as loud as I like thank you, Caroline! I want you to remember who you first moved into this house with? Who YOU built a family with? Who bought this house when they were on the best sellers list? Yes. Me! So before you run off to your little damp dyke wife, just remember that! Mushrooms, Lawrence?"

Caroline made her way round the kitchen counter and snatched the mushrooms out of John's hand. John had riled her now. There was no going back.  
"Yes and my happily married wife and I bought you out! Months ago now! So in fact, you have no right to be here I think you'll find!"

"Mum!"

"Ignore her, Lawrence. She's gone nuts. They all have." John turned his back to Caroline.

"WE DO NOT WANT YOU HERE!" Caroline grabbed onto the kitchen counter to steady herself. She was losing her patience. Fast.

Lawrence stared to and from his parents. Waiting for the next insult to be thrown. There was silence. Even Flora had stopped crying.

"Right, well I'll have to go and speak to her then." as John made his way for the staircase.

"Oh, no you won't!" Caroline exclaimed following him.

John had frozen at the bottom of the staircase and just as Caroline was about to shove him and his shoes out the door came Kate's voice…

"CAROLINE! COME QUICK! PLEASE. FLORA, IT'S FLORA! FLORA, SOMETHINGS WRONG!


	6. Chapter 6

**Hold My Hand**

Caroline had run so quickly past John she'd almost knocked him down. Kate was always so calm, so gentle. Caroline knew that this plea for help was serious. In fact, she'd never heard Kate shout and this shout was full of panic. Caroline reached the top of the staircase to Kate, tears streaming down her face with Flora held close. Vomit all over her jeans. Flora in just her nappy, her back arched against Kate's arm. Her limbs flailing everywhere. Kate opened her mouth but nothing left, she couldn't speak. Caroline had almost forgotten how it was possible for such a little being to deafen everyone with such shrill cries, but this cry was like nothing she'd ever heard before. Kate started shaking her head. Eyes full of fear, lips shut tight. Caroline wasn't sure who was most fractious, Kate or Flora. Caroline's eyes widened to Kate in the hope of an explanation but still nothing came.

"Right, give her here." Caroline moved forward with her arms open to take Flora.

Flora's face was wrinkled; beet red, blotched, her little mouth stretched wide, her cries just seemed to be getting harsher. Caroline started bobbing and swaying nervously.

"Kate? Kate, you're going to have to tell me what you think is the matter? Look, I'm sorry she's probably just a bit fraught and unsettled because of the shouting. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Flora." Caroline was now jiggling Flora in her arms in a panicked way. She'd just made things a whole lot worse.

"No! Look properly! I don't know what to do!"

"Yes, she's just a bit red that's all. It takes a lot to give it as much as you are today, doesn't it darling?" Caroline cooed.

"No. Look. Look! Her tummy's all swollen."

"Did you feed her when you first went in? Maybe she's just bloated or not feeling well. She's been sick over you hasn't she? Look. Kate. I know you're scared but just calm down."

"She wouldn't feed but she was still sick. Then she went all floppy in my arms, and wouldn't wake. I just thought she was tired. That was when I put her down and started playing for her and then she started crying and vomiting again."

"It's OK lovely, we're going to get Mum's favourite GP to come and check you over. Don't worry." Caroline was kissing Flora's head now trying to ignore the screams.

"John!" Caroline turned and called. Kate rolled her eyes. "Kate! Please. Don't be like that. We're going to need his help."

"Yes, everything OK? Need any milk for Flora?" John had reached half way up the stairs already.

"No, no. I'm going to need to you to call the surgery. Dr Moss and Partners will still be open won't it? It has just gone four. Right, you're going to have to call them and tell them we have a very unhappy three week old baby. We need someone. Preferably Dr Bray if possible! You still have the number on your mobile don't you?"

"I'm on it." John assured before her ran back down.

"God. Does that baby ever stop causing problems?" Lawrence complained. Caroline thought if she didn't have a screaming baby in her hands she would have rung his neck already.

"Lawrence, if you ever want to see the light of day again, never mind Death Grip or Xbox, I suggest you keep quiet and help your Dad!" Caroline shouted down.

"Caroline! Look at her legs." Kate's face had drained.

"Oh my God." Caroline said quietly.

"And it was only a few days ago she had a fever!"

"Are you sure she's not just blotchy or it's a heat rash?"

"Caroline! Look?! I read about all of this just before she was born!"

A red spotty rash had started to appear on Floras legs. Her cries were getting louder and louder.

"Oh. No, no, no."

"We need to do something. Quick!"

"Lawrence! Bring up a clear glass!"

"Wait! I'm just sending a text to Angus!"

"NOW!" Kate bellowed. She'd never raised her voice at Lawrence before but now wasn't the time for Kate to take a step back when it came to disciplining Lawrence.

Within seconds Lawrence was up the stairs with a clear glass. He handed it to Kate. He took a few steps back. He could tell something wasn't right.

Kate was shaking. Caroline was now cradling Flora and trying to get her into position for the glass test. She squeezed Kate's free hand before Kate snatched it off her and held tightly onto the glass. Kate had to hold onto Flora's leg to stop her kicking. She tentatively pressed the side of the glass firmly onto Flora's leg. The rash didn't fade.

"Try it again. Add more pressure this time!"

Kate rolled the clear glass over the whole of Flora's leg quickly. Both watched. The rash still remained. Lawrence's face had turned deathly pale.

John appeared at the top of the stairs. "Task completed. Anything else?" No one acknowledged him.

"John. Call St Marys, 999, whatever and tell them that we're on the way with a three week old baby with symptoms of meningitis. We'll be ten minutes. Kate, get her things. I'll take her down now and get her into the car. Lawrence, you're to stay here and wait for Granny and Alan."

Everyone went about their instructions. Caroline had safely put Flora into her car seat and stayed close to her with the door open waiting for Kate. Caroline was starting to get panicky and emotional herself. Flashbacks of the accident three weeks ago came flooding back.

"Everything alright love?" Alan asked his hands on Caroline's shoulders.

"Oh, she has got one on her today hasn't she dear? Not to worry. Granny Celia will take care of it! Have you just got back love?" said Celia following Alan.

"Oh, Alan, it's Flora, she's got a rash, and we're taking her to A&amp;E now. We're not sure what it is, we think, think it might be, think it is meningitis." Caroline had now grasped onto Alan to keep her steady and the tears fell.

"Got her stuff Caroline. Let's go!"

Caroline shut the door, wiped her tears away and got into the driving seat whilst Kate got in the back and sat in the passenger seat next to Flora.

"Alan. Get in the car. We're following them up!"

Caroline didn't think she'd ever driven so dangerously. She'd been very aware of her driving ever since the accident and had made a conscious effort to make sure she was always safe. However, the longer Flora wasn't treated, the more fatal this could be and time wasn't on their side. It was the most silent car journey they'd ever had. The only interactions they'd had were repeated questioning from Caroline about her symptoms and if Kate and Flora were OK. Kate had remained pretty quiet other than a nod or shake of her head. Caroline thought Kate were about to have her own accident in the back of the car with how hysterical she was so she kept her voice low and calm. Kate was clearly too mortified to speak. Alan and Celia were closely behind them however they'd tried to stick to the speeding limit, especially with Alan's heart condition. Two emergencies wouldn't be helpful.

* * *

They'd parked up and it wasn't settling to either of them to see ambulances lined up outside, paramedics wheeling in patients on trolleys. This was of course where Kate had been treated for her accident no less than three weeks ago too. They jumped out the car and made their way towards A&amp;E. Kate held tightly onto Flora. They were greeted by a nurse in full blue scrubs, including gloves.

The room was stuffy and crammed full of people waiting to be seen. Caroline thought she was about to faint.

"Flora Mckenzie-Dawson?" he asked before they reached him.

Flora's screams were so loud now the entire waiting room were staring at them as they entered. It was likely they'd heard her from the car park.

"Yes, yes, symptoms of meningitis." Caroline replied trying to keep up with Kate as she hurried towards the nurse.

"OK, let me just take you Flora." The nurse held onto Flora looking her up and down. The rash had spread all over to Flora's stomach and back now. "Yes. Yes. Good for bringing her in. OK. I'm going to need to take Flora into this room with me. If you wait in the Family Room just over there someone will be with you shortly. You're going to need to get scrubs on yourself too ladies."

"What is going to happen to her? Could I come?" Kate asked.

"Someone will be with you shortly." and with that Flora and the nurse disappeared into the room.

Kate turned and gripped onto Caroline, her head falling into her chest, tears pouring down her face.

"Noooo. What's going to happen to her Caroline? What's going to happen to my baby?"


End file.
